Patriotism

Do you ever go days without thinking about something and then it pops into your mind, and then you wonder how long it's been since you thought about it last?

It's crazy how our minds work.  Sometimes, just for fun, mine picks out random files from the back and flashes them in front of my mind's eye.  It's been doing that with movies in the past day or two:

The Butler - about a black indentured servant who rose through the ranks of butlerhood to become one of the most favored butlers at the White House.  His demure, don't-rock-the-political-boat life contrasted with that of his son, who participated in just about every black rights movement he could.  
Miss Meadows - about a vintage-wearing, tap-dancing kindergarten teacher who enthuses to her students that there is good inside of everyone, while carrying a small handgun in her cute little purse in order to take justice into her own hands.  One is never quite sure if she is sane, and if her sanity really matters.

ARI (or something) - a young man rises to a challenge set before him by a computer system determined to take over the government for the good of the people.  The computer thinks it can tell this man exactly who he is, which is very frustrating to me.

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Has anyone questioned your motives?  It's kind of like someone's telling you who you are.

It's hard to move on.

In ARI, the computer told the dude he was worthless and that his life would come to nothing.

The dude was in a hurry.  He didn't have time to mope around and slowly heal from her nasty words.  He did the right thing and decided that the computer was wrong.  He rose to one of his life's purposes and saved the United States from well-intended computerization.

I like telling people my motives.  I often tell people when I have ulterior motives, like, "I want to go shopping with you at this shopping center because I really need to stop by the bank on the way."

If someone thinks I'm holding something back, they're dead wrong.

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Good quote from a friend:

"A tall, sneaky airhead is a very scary thing."

Take as you will.

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Speaking of saving the United States:

My father is reading The Federalist Papers.  Slogging through the language of the past in order to understand what the great, radical founders of our country were trying to do.

"These men had wealth and status," said my Dad, "They had the most to lose of anyone.  But they were fed up with the way the British government was running and they had to do something."

How inspiring!

The Federalists were a group of people trying to convince the states to give the Government a certain amount of power.  The states wanted to give the Federal government very little power, (for example, little power to tax), but the Federalists, having logic, good education, and knowledge of the human condition (believing that humans are inherently "bad" based on history and Christian beliefs), knew that in order to form a "more perfect union" healthy fear of government is necessary and thus a certain amount of power.

Or at least that's what I got.  It was a good talk.

A good point made was the one where often the issue is bigger within a man's heart than it is in reality.  This applies in all areas of life and from past to present.

I also helped my dad, who in scholarly fashion had a huge dictionary out but was reading on a tablet, to find definitions more easily by tapping on words.  I think that made him very happy.  Things like that make me happy.  Also, learning new words makes me happy.  But there is something satisfying about I-Spy-ing and finding a word in a real live dictionary.

Reading literature from the past is almost like going to Alaska - it provides an escape from modern-day political windbags who may or may not have forgotten the importance of true patriotism.

And my dad loves Alaska.

Please tell me windbags is the right word and doesn't have other meanings I don't know.

Covet

It's difficult not to spend money.  It's actually something I pray about.

Online shopping is a big culprit, as well as confusing needs with wants, and, finally, social spending.

Social spending is when I spend money on events or food in order to spend time with friends.

I have also been convicted by God Himself that it is detrimental to my relationship with Him to make every one of my excursions from my house an opportunity to shop for my next vehicle.

Lately I've been checking out every vehicle and giving it a yes, no, or maybe rating as to whether or not I would buy it, and then checking its make and model while at stop lights, while waiting for guests at work, and while in the parking lot at Target.  It's enhancing my car knowledge so I can keep up in conversation with others, I say to myself.  But really, this behavior was creating an obsession within that is overtaking my thoughts in an unhealthy way.

I am saving for a vehicle, but will shop when the time comes rather than months before which causes impatience and covetousness.

I looked up the word "covet" recently since I'm not supposed to do that according to God.  I used to think it was wanting something that someone else had (being jealous of it or wanting to steal it), but according to the dictionary, it's just wanting something very badly, obsessing over it, longing for it; you get the idea.  This is ground-breaking.

This is why I feel convicted when I want very badly and long for things to go my way and when I shop for cars at traffic lights.

Sometimes in order to avoid feelings of covetousness when it comes to things I can buy, I cave and purchase what I want almost immediately.  This, then, becomes another issue: not being a good steward of my money.

I did some social spending today on a meal at a restaurant called Snap.  Then I went to a bookstore and bought two journals I don't need yet just because I felt like it.

Profanity is something else I'm praying about.  I was in the car with my friend on the way home from Snap and she used some of this horrible Profanity.  I looked, at her, surprised and amazed, and she told me she had been struggling with it lately. "Me too!" I enthused.  We prayed immediately.

There's a verse in the Bible I like to ignore about how salt water and fresh water cannot come out of the same spring, and in the same way, dirty language won't come out of a clean heart.

I like to use profanity to give my words impact, but I think the idea that cursing gives words impact is a lie from the Enemy.  I can make my words sharp and meaningful, as well as respectful with my wealthy vocabulary anytime I want.  I use dirty language around people who use it too, and I never thought I'd be one of those individuals who did things to fit in, but here I am.

God says to be in the world but not part of it and I'm definitely blending in.

Lipstick

I just painted like a hundred shades of lipstick on my hand that I didn't know I didn't have.

My friend went to a flea market and got them all for me.  Will my future makeup clients know that I get my makeup at flea markets?

No, because I didn't put my blog address on my business card.  And if they find me, they can deal with it, because my hand feels creamy and gorgeous and they will too when I apply to their lips one of my poppin' new shades.

Glosses, balms, rich opaque velvety burgundy sticks, you get the idea.

I also just finished my taxes.

They are IN the envelopes.  I owe a dollar to the state of PA and a dollar to my municipality; I hope they use my funds well.

Has anyone experienced their camera getting tired at a dark party and refusing to take pictures?  It kept telling me it was busy and didn't want to flash just yet.  Ugh.

You guessed it; I experienced this last night.

I exited the party into the empty parking lot and as I neared my car in the frigid air I had a freak-out session.  My job there was done.

Finally.

As a party photographer, I realized, I don't get to decide when enough photographs have been taken and I don't get to decide when to leave.  And I'm usually the person who leaves parties early.

Not last night.  Last night the party guests didn't get tired, and my client made me very frightened either that I was at the time being a failure or that my photos after the fact would be extremely disappointing.  I was on edge and smiled a lot and wanted very much for the night to be over.  Don't tell anyone.

However: I got to listen to some bangin' Bollywood music and watch EVERYBODY (not just the young people, or the women, or the hip ones, or whatever) dance and dance and dance, and sing along to every - single - song.  Sometimes I truly got caught up in watching everyone's fun.

At one point a man took my camera and let me dance.  I thanked him and he said in my ear, "I could tell you wanted to dance by the look in your eyes." There were a few people besides him watching out for me who helped me pick food and asked if I was having fun.

And the DJ was super cute.

So why the stress reaction in the parking lot?

Maybe I just hadn't been wearing enough lipstick.

Plug-in Stereo

I went to a chiropractor for the first time the other day. He cracked my back TWICE and it was wonderful.

That same day I experienced another first: I brought my laptop to Starbucks and got a hot drink and sat there sipping it and appearing studious or businesslike (you choose) while doing important-looking work. 

I've always wanted to be one of THOSE people: people on the move with hot drinks and laptops and pressing ideas and no time to lounge at home. They just look so...purposeful and self-assured. They claim their space at the coffee shop or cafe as if it is their own and stay as long as they need to get the job done. 

So I got to play the part. It was fun.

My brow furrowed, I could have been filling in a spreadsheet for a law firm or something. Yay me!

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So, I've mentioned soundtracks before in my blogs.  I'm going to do it again:

"You don't know what you got so you just give it away to anyone who's looking....
So save your love for somebody who's earned it,
Don't cave because all the wait'll be worth it....
You're beautiful, it's indisputable."
-Plug-in Stereo

This song plays at work but the other day it just hit me.

In the Bible there's a passage warning against throwing one's pearls to the swine, because the swine will devour them and then turn against you and trample you.

The swine have done nothing to earn your pearls and have no respect for them.  Your talents, beauty, and love and affection aren't just for anyone.  You may not realize it, but you are infinitely valuable no matter what you've done or who you think you are, and saving your love for someone who recognizes that value - saving it for as long as it takes - is worth it.

The most important line to me is "You don't know what you got so you just give it away."
God didn't make any mistakes when he made you and I.  We have perfection inside of us and sharing it with anyone who looks at us just doesn't make sense.

I urge us all to remember that "the wait'll be worth it."