Vocation

Today I am not performing my vocation. 

I am awaiting five o'clock when I will make a call and find out if I am needed for jury duty tomorrow. 

I made that call yesterday and was told not to report. 

I really hope the voice on the phone tells me to report tomorrow so the rigamarole getting to Philadelphia and getting covers for my shifts wasn't all for nothing!

I want to experience sitting in a room and waiting for a long time only to be (likely) sent home. 

It's a form of serving my country. 

Did you know that the word "vocation" comes from the Latin word "vocatio" which MEANS "calling."

When I tell people I am going to work, I'm telling them I will be working. 

When I tell people I am on my way to my vocation, I am telling them I am on my way to fulfill my calling in life. 

I am a waxer, or waxologist. I remove body hair. This specifically may not be my  calling - but my calling is to do it to the best of my ability as if I am doing it for God. 

I'm at a friend's house and her books are more interesting than my own. I actually picked one up and it explored work and vocation. 

Is greed good?

I have to admit that I am often driven by greed. 

I can use a nicer word to veil the graininess of the term, like "ambition," or "drive" but it all kind of equates to the same thing if I'm not fixating on the right thing. 

Even if I'm focused wholly on improving myself and sharpening my skills and polishing myself, well, then is it about glorifying God anymore?

And really, what's my reason for doing these things? (1) So I can think highly of myself and (2) So I can increase my paycheck. 

Greed for status and the freedom to possess. 

So what is my drive supposed to be? 

God created me to work, and to rest, and to find satisfaction and purpose in it. And if by working I am fulfilling my purpose - how simple! A purpose-driven life! If I can find joy in everything I do, every effort I exert, not even in my workplace, because God intended it to be so, and then found the same kind of joy in resting, because God intended it to be so also, is that not enough to drive me to excel, exceed, perform, and show up every morning ready to do my work?

Fascinating booklet. 

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I called the number. 

They don't need me for jury duty the second day either. It appears that I will be finding joy in rest from my work. Perhaps my calling is to rest and enjoy the company of once-lost friends, and to take long walks in the heat, and to enjoy playing games with strangers in houses without air conditioning. 

This is rest. To wear the same clothes out of my backpack at a place where no one notices, brush my teeth when I want to, sleep hugging a docile dog that resembles a deer, and drink tea that I don't know how to make. 

I let my friend guide me around the city to places I never knew existed. It was like being in Missouri, where I had to shrug my shoulders and say "Well, people have to live somewhere." I felt left out not having known that there was more to the city than the north and the center part. 

I sat outside the grocery store with my deer-dog as she kept vigil for my friend to come back out bearing groceries. 

I have never met such a docile dog. There is no other word. Docile. 

I am riding home now. 

I am excited to be clean, to work; excited to return to that part of my vocation. 

This unexpected vacation has changed me. It revealed hospitality: "Wanna stay another night?" It revealed my desire to act: "Let's share bread with strangers!"

And it revealed hidden dog parks to me. 

Philadelphia has been a second home to me ever since I lived there in college, but having experienced it more broadly over the past few days, I feel even closer to its heart and want to know more.