Songbirds

There were two slightly homeless-looking people singing loudly and independently of one another at suburban station this morning. 

It brings to mind a book my friend showed to me which sits above her toilet called something like "1000 feelings for which there are no names."  

One of them is "the abhorrence of disabled people" and the one listed immediately after is "the shame of feeling this."

I confess that these feelings ran through the thing which is my self. 

Nobody else seemed annoyed that the man was singing "amazing grace" and probably hadn't officially applied and been accepted to exhibit his talent in the station, but I guess I didn't look it on the outside. 

And there was actually a "normal" woman still sitting on the other end of the bench with the woman singing a shrill, unknown tune that may have been a worshipful improvisation (it seemed like it might have been that). 

Early morning songbirds. 

I managed to spend more money this morning, at the hair store geared toward black women and run by asian people (the norm, there was also one across the hall - just saying, and this is backed up in the documentary "good hair" that Asia has like an "80% hold on the black hair market). 

I missed my train, knew I would be late to work, didn't have tweezers, and had to get some. 

Ooh, it's open!

Ooh, they have tweezers!

That's where it should have ended. But that's when I saw they had headbands. And headbands add to the look of femininity I would like to achieve, so they are definitely a "need," which means I can buy five of them. Certainly. 

I loved my hair until some douchebag asked me upon meeting me if I was a lesbian and a week or so later an uninhibited child asked if I was a girl or a boy. 

Now I have some concerns. 

I don't want to feel like being thought of as a boy is a bad thing, or being thought of as a lesbian is a bad thing, because it shouldn't be a bad thing. 

This situation should cause me to examine my heart and see where I really stand on judging people who are not like me. 

I do want guests to feel comfortable when I'm waxing them. Just saying. 

In any case, I'll just have to wear the (cheaply made) headbands until they fall apart. And in that way get my money's worth. 

Maybe I can write them off my taxes as a work necessity.